Lashes At A Price

How many of you have ever had eyelash extensions? Don’t you feel so fab in them for the week until they fall off, leaving you sad and lashless?

You might want to return those Groupons for extensions, because I just read a scary article about this trend!



As is the case with almost any beauty trend, eyelash extensions pose a risk. Experts say that eyelash extensions have obvious benefits, but carry hidden risks, such as infection, allergic reactions, irritation, and loss of your actual lashes. Yikes! Apparently, some adhesive formulas include formaldehyde. They shouldn’t, but still do. I think I’m a formaldehyde hypocrite. I love what it does to my hair via Brazilian Blowouts, but I don’t want it anywhere near my eyes.

When I had eyelash extensions done last year before a big trip, I loved what they did. I could head out for the day without needing to do anything to my face, which obvi is an amazing feeling. But, about 10 days later when the extensions started to fall out, I noticed that I had very little natural lash left. It was yucky, man. And unless you choose to get your lashes touched up, they’re gonna be short and stubby for a few weeks! Eyelash extensions are expensive, and therefore not really my cup of tea. I enjoyed it while it lasted, though.

What are your thoughts on Hollywood’s most recent beauty scare?


Mela-What? Mela-Who?

I hereby interrupt your lovely holiday weekend to bring you news from a frightening article on Glamour that I read, because nothing puts the fear of God into me like telling me there might be CANCER in my nail beds.

Back to the beginning. Melanoma. It’s a less common (but just as bastardly) type of skin cancer that can occur anywhere in the body that contains melanocytes. What are melanocytes? Oh, just the melanin-producing cells hanging out in the bottom layer of our skin’s epidermis that are primarily responsible for the color of the skin.

Nothing to look at here, kids. Just plotting your demise!

If you polish your nails frequently (like I do), you may be missing a warning sign! Here are some things to look for when checking for melanoma in your nail beds:

  • Brown or black lengthwise stripe on the nail
  • Usually only one finger or toe is affected (and most often it is the index finger or big toe)
  • Brownish or black pigment surrounding the nail
  • African American and Japanese women have a higher risk of melanoma under the nail than any other ethnic group

And I have braved Google images to bring you an example:

I found it kind of funny that the picture was called "thumbnail."

After all of that, I think we kinda deserve to see some happiness, don’t you think? Enjoy and forget the nasty images you just looked at, but don’t forget to check yo’self the next time you take your polish off!

Nothing makes me happier to see a pug shitting cupcakes.

Why wasn't I born as this umbrella? Dammit, my life's a joke.

I'm hope this happy family is still smiling when they're on the inside of my belly.

Alright, I think I’m okay now. And I hope you are too.

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