Fun Nail Friday!

This week’s theme was so easy…because ‘MERICA!!!!!

murica nails

 

Hope you had a Happy 4th!

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Fun Nail Friday!

Every now and then I start feeling very confident in myself, and I troll Pinterest looking for something to replicate! Usually it never ends up as badly as these Pinterest Fails¬†but it’s never quite as perfect as it seems online.

SERIOUSLY? Show me the person who got time fo' dat, and I'll punch you.

Ain’t nobody got time fo’ dat.

So here’s my take on a popular Pinterest nail trend. The great things is, the pin has the instructions built right in! How could I possibly mess this up?

img via Pinnailart.com

img via Pinnailart.com

And my version:

bow nails

Not terrible…right? I need to find me a more reliable, sturdy nail brush for the intricate designs I want to practice!

Have a great weekend!

 

 

Fun Nail Friday!

Whoa, how is it Friday already?! I’m home sick but that makes me even more determined to round up some nails for the week!

So, I’m not saying you’re slacking, MKL…but you just sent me three weeks worth of nails in one. ūüėČ
MKL nails feb 8

Today we bid a fond¬†beannacht to CH, who’s on her way to the Emerald Isle for a few weeks of Guinness drinking and leprechaun hunting!¬†B√≠odh turas iontach, bitch!

CH nails feb 8

additional nails by LDL, what an overachiever!

additional nails by LDL, what an overachiever!

Of course, next week contains the mother of all overrated days, so naturally, LDL came ready with our pink nails.

LDL nails feb 1

tt nails feb 8

I like these pale pinks so much that I think I’m gonna make them my wedding colors!

Welp, that’s all I got! Have a great weekend!

Marc Jacobs + Sephora!

Ooh La La! The ethereally fabulous Marc Jacobs is up to his lashes involved in a new project with Sephora: a makeup line! And why not? He’s tried and KILLED at damn near everything else he’s gotten his pretty little hands on.

Including looking better than me in makeup, god DAMN it!

What kind of things do you think he’ll design? Daisy colored nail polishes? Tubes of mascara wearing little kilts? Heavily tattooed eyeshadow palettes? I HOPE SO!!!

Read more about Marc Jacobs for Sephora collection here:

There’s Something in the Lipstick!

Quick, everyone switch to lip gloss. The FDA has recently found that about 400 shades of popular lipstick contain trace amounts of lead. What exactly is¬†trace, and why should we care? I mean, everything has trace¬†amounts of stuff on it. My cell phone has¬†trace amounts of crap particles on it, my skin always has¬†trace¬†amounts of glitter on it, and there will always be¬†trace amounts of nose nachos in Charlie Sheen’s nasal cavity.

My first question? WHICH LIPSTICKS?!

The first offender is Maybelline Color Sensational “Pink Petal” lipstick. Yes, I know what you’re thinking. Well, I know what I’m thinking: ¬†Lead! Maybe she’s born with it…maybe it’s Maybelline!¬†

Hint: It’s probably Maybelline. Two lipsticks by Cover Girl and two by NARS also landed in the top 10.

What is a safe¬†normal amount of lead in lipstick? Studies say 1.11 parts per million. What did “Pink Petal” test? 7.19. Click here for a complete list of the lipsticks that WILL kill you. Just kidding. Just proceed with caution, as it seems that these days, everything is trying to kill us.

 

“Fabulous @ 60”

“Oh thank God, finally, a line of makeup exclusively for women aged 60 and up!” – No one

What's wrong with this look? If it ain't broke, don't fix it, sonny!

Apparently, a new line of cosmetics¬†is out created specifically for the aging woman. The makeup, called “The Fabulous Range,” features selections of¬†of eye shadows, pencils, lipsticks, glosses, blushes and mascaras in neutral colors intended to flatter older skin. So it’s pretty much like buying a newspaper, changing the name, and re-selling it as “Specialized Birdcage Lining.” AMIRITE?!

I know plenty of older women who get by just fine using regular people makeup. Okay, so you only sell neutral colors. How innovative. What kind of old lady would wear garish makeup anyway?

No word on how long her face has been like that.

Oh, right. Everyone say hello to fitness and makeup guru Andrea Warshaw-Wernick, the creator of this line. You know how they say “Never trust a skinny chef?” Please add “Never trust a Botox maniac with your makeup” to this list. Also, “Never trust a self-proclaimed health guru in their mid-60s.” I could go on?

Let me clarify. I have no problem with aging or old people. I heart old people. They’re very sweet people like you and I, they just walk a little slower and eat dinner a little earlier. However, I DO have a problem when people refuse to accept to age gracefully. Just…stop. You don’t need fancy products that claim to halt time. Remember Lady Gaga’s advice?

Put down the crazy product and look at these lovely women–they’re all over 60!

Seriously, Mirren!?

THE DvF

HA! Just wanted to see if you were paying attention. But seriously, she's pushing 60. Got to be.

This sounds like…wait for it…A TOTAL WASTE OF MAKEUP!

a little POP!

I like to punch up an otherwise boring makeup look with a little pop of color. My weapon of choice is usually a metallic eyeliner. I bought several inexpensive colors from Sephora‘s Nano eyeliner collection. I love these because they’re cheap enough for you to not have to commitment issues with, and I really hate the feeling of being owned by an item of makeup (i.e.: “This Chanel lipstick cost over $30, so I HAVE to wear it with everything to get some good use out of it!” or inversely, “This store brand liquid foundation was so cheap, I just HAVE to wear it all the time because it was such a good deal!”. Okay. Whatever. This is better than that.

Today I applied some neutral eyeshadow (M.A.C.’s Naked Lunch on my lids, and Mythology in the crease) and lined my eyes with Sephora’s “Wild Spirit” nano eyeliner, a sassy purple shade (that doesn’t make you look like a gas station hooker). But enough about me. Let’s look at pictures of me to see how I pulled this simple morning look off:

What I like about “Wild Spirit” is how it’s kinda like my little secret. From far away, it just likes a plain ole swipe of eyeliner, but if you get really close- LOOK OUT!- you’ll get punched in the face by the purple. It’s like “Oh hello–PURPLE POW!” It’s a pretty nice defense when coworkers get dangerously close to entering your bubble. It’s like the makeup version of SCRAM!

Hey Whipple! Moisturize this!

You know how the saying goes, “Wear the right moisturizer and you’ll have everyone eating out of the palm of your hand.”

Looks like someone overdid it.

Anyway, the perfect moisturizer smooths your face to a level of dewy deliciousness usually reserved for babies and male strippers.

The perfect moisturizer will never do you wrong.

The perfect moisturizer will be your best friend.

The perfect moisturizer WILL change your life.

I think I found the perfect moisturizer.

Not pictured: magic wand.

Meet MAC’s Studio Moisture Creme Hydrante, a super-rich moisturizer infused with a ton of delicious extracts like green tea and algae that cosmetics companies just LOVE to throw in there to make us feel all nourished and healthy (VEGAN agenda?!). I’ll let it slide this time because this stuff is OUT OF THIS WORLD. Do you know how OUT OF THIS WORLD¬†this moisturizer is? It compelled a gay man to approach me in front of the Nordstrom at Main Place Mall in Santa Ana and tell me that my face “looked like it felt like butter.” ¬†(And yes, I totally let him cop a feel.)

Anyway, ¬†I really do love how my face feels after I slather this on. I feel like I’m literally feeding my dry, thirsty skin with the tastiest, most refreshing beverage ever. I’ve never used a moisturizer that was so thick and creamy and radiant and just makes my face feel dewy. And the best part? Since it’s so thick, I barely go through one tub a year. </endgushfest>

Oh, you’re still here? Thought you’d already dropped everything you were doing to get out to a MAC store or logged onto MAC Cosmetics online to get yourself a little tub of the magic!

M-A-C Cosmetics | Studio Moisture Creme Hydrante | 50 ml / 1.7 US fl oz jarUS$32.00

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