Lashes At A Price

How many of you have ever had eyelash extensions? Don’t you feel so fab in them for the week until they fall off, leaving you sad and lashless?

You might want to return those Groupons for extensions, because I just read a scary article about this trend!

tumblr_inline_mk2zurFzRP1qz4rgp

 

As is the case with almost any beauty trend, eyelash extensions pose a risk. Experts say that eyelash extensions have obvious benefits, but carry hidden risks, such as infection, allergic reactions, irritation, and loss of your actual lashes. Yikes! Apparently, some adhesive formulas include formaldehyde. They shouldn’t, but still do. I think I’m a formaldehyde hypocrite. I love what it does to my hair via Brazilian Blowouts, but I don’t want it anywhere near my eyes.

When I had eyelash extensions done last year before a big trip, I loved what they did. I could head out for the day without needing to do anything to my face, which obvi is an amazing feeling. But, about 10 days later when the extensions started to fall out, I noticed that I had very little natural lash left. It was yucky, man. And unless you choose to get your lashes touched up, they’re gonna be short and stubby for a few weeks! Eyelash extensions are expensive, and therefore not really my cup of tea. I enjoyed it while it lasted, though.

What are your thoughts on Hollywood’s most recent beauty scare?

Good Makeup For Bad People

I love Fall.

Schlumpy clothes, pumpkin spice lattes, scarves, and lots of cuddling. Not to mention all the vampy makeup and nail shades it’s now socially acceptable to wear!

This fall, Disney is releasing a line of makeup inspired by their oh-so-charming LADYVILLIANS! The big bad HBIC’s of the Magic Kingdom are bringing their fierce colors from their dungeons to ours.

 

What do you think of these selections from Cruella, the Queen of Hearts, Ursula, the Evil Queen, Mother Gothel, and Maleficent?

6-piece nail polish set available here.

3-piece lip gloss set available here.

It’s good to be bad sometimes!

Now available at The Disney Store.

 

 

A Lesson in Kontouring

Thanks Kim, but I don’t need nice cheekbones that badly.

img via CocoPerez.com, obviously

The Gold Medal Issue

With the Olympics winding down and an appropriate amount of dreams shattered, it’s time to delve into the interesting looks of our tumbling, spiking, running, swimming, jabbing, and all around WINNING Olympic leading ladies!

First I’m going to start with an event I didn’t even know until this year was an Olympic sport.

Synchronized Swimming

img via Yahoo! Sports

This is more or less the commotion I make when I am finally able to trick someone into going to The Spaghetti Factory with me.

img via AP

So obviously synchronized swimming is like the Broadway of the swimming pool. Overexagerated movements, costumes, AND makeup. As performers (and probably drama queens) through and through, synchronized swimmers have their own very specific beauty routine, and get this—it involves horse cartilage. What the what, right? I wondered how these lovely ladies went from the pool to the medal stand without a single hair getting out of place, and I have got to the bottom of this very sticky situation. Swimmers mix Knox (unflavored Jell-O) with water and brush it onto their hair before competition. The key ingredient in the stuff is soft equine cartilage, which is apparently very good for your hair. Especially good if you spend 8 hours a day, 6 days a week splashing around in chlorine. And if you use the same pool as Ryan Lochte, chlorine and pee.

#JEAH #JEAH #JEAH

Beach Volleyball

img via AP

Clearly all the lovely three time Gold meadlin’ team of Walsh-Jennings and May-Treanor needs is a gallon of sunscreen and they’re good to go. GO GIRLS!!!

Shooting

img via Reuters

This is Kuwait’s HBIC Mariam Erzouqi and she just looks amazing. She’s only the 2nd Kuwaiti woman to compete in the Olympic games, and probably not the last. Go girl.

Field Hockey

img via Reuters

No comment regarding makeup. Too busy having nightmares.

Track & Field

You would think that training for 4 years to win a race that is completed in 12 seconds would deter you from worrying about and wearing any sort of makeup whatsoever. If so, you must be Sally Pearson, the fastest 100m hurdler in the world and also Australia’s Plain Jane. I mean clearly this B is just here to run.

img via Getty Images

I can’t even stand how naturally effing gorgeous Lolo Jones is:

But her “run face” is frightening.

img via The Star-Ledger

But whatever. I’m splitting hairs here.  In other news, while sitting on my couch watching these ladies run their freakish hearts out, I enjoy judging the way their hair flutters in the wind. My faves?

Sanya Richards-Ross and her cute side french braid and long ponytail

Shelly-Ann Fraser-Pryce, always rockin’ that ribbon

Jessica Ennis’ hair is usually in a bun, but she’s so pretty!

Gymnastics

My absolute FAVORITE. Leotards, bitchy glares, glitter, and lots and lots of tumbling! It doesn’t get any better than Olympic gymnastics. These ladies definitely know how to work it!

First up on the chopping block: America’s Salty Silver Medalist McKayla Maroney!

Silver? I am not amused.

I love me some Maroney. She’s basically the Regina George of Gymnastics.

China’s Deng Linlin makes one thing clear. Scrunchies are alive and well in the 2012 games. I can’t figure out why. I also can’t figure out how this bitch is 20 YEARS OLD.

Quick! What year were ya born!

I also can’t figure out why people keep harping about Gabby Douglas’ hair. It is irrelevant. This lil bag o’bones won us a Gold!

“Undone” hair don’t care!

But now on to my favorite gymnast of them all, Miz Aliya Mustafina. This lil Ice Queen has been melting hearts since 1994.

Oh hai there. Just here to murder your dreams! 🙂 🙂 🙂

She’s a ferocious gymnast but girl you need to calm down and be the Easy Breezy Beautiful Cover Girlski that you know you are!

I love the Olympics. Can’t wait til Rio 2016!
Signing off,
T

Multiple O

I’m a fan of NARS Orgasm blush as much as the next gal (or maybe more, actually) and now they’ve ejac come out with another palette so you can go even deeper with your craze for this good stuff.

Behold the “Foreplay” palette:

Batteries Not Included.

On sale RIGHT NOW at Sephora, you can get this titillating palette which I just know will give you the best glow ever! I mean, it’s gonna be real hard to go back to plain old blush after this one!

Here’s me blabbering on and on about NARS Orgasm blush.

What’s Wrong, Tyra?

Wendy Williams got your tongue?

Tim Gunn just give you a wedgie?

Just remembered you left the curling iron on?

You just realize you and Effie Trinket hired the same makeup artist?

You just realize that “50 Shades of Grey” works better as a book and not an eyeshadow?

🙂

Okay, I’m done. I’m sorry Tyra. But what’s going on here?! You got some splainin’ to do.

Le Coton

Chanel, it looks like we are entering into a very complicated relationship.

I love and trust you (I think), but $20 for cotton face wipes?

Here’s what the description says:

CHANEL brings the highest-quality cosmetic cotton pads to the U.S., lending pure luxury to a woman’s daily cleansing and toning ritual. LE COTON is an exquisitely soft tri-layer pad developed in Japan: its outer lining, made from delicate, handpicked Egyptian cotton, and its inner filling, comprised of lightly entwined, elastic Australian fibers. Combined, this ultra-absorbent, lint-free composition increases the effectiveness of CHANEL Cleansers and Toners, treating even the most sensitive skin to unparalleled gentleness. Each LE COTON pad is generously sized and delicately embossed with the world-renowned CHANEL logo.

Oh My Gah. I just CAN’T with you right now, Chanel! I’m not sure if I’m horrified or turned on. Do I need handpicked Egyptian cotton wiping off my makeup every night? Do I need unparalleled gentleness getting very familiar with every pore? Do I need lightly entwined, elastic Australian fibers caressing each stubborn blackhead I collect?  (Sidebar: what are you DOING to me, Chanel?!)

Logically, the answer should be “no”, but my inner goddess is screaming at me to buy this and try it out. Will I? Can I? SHALL I?

Marc Jacobs + Sephora!

Ooh La La! The ethereally fabulous Marc Jacobs is up to his lashes involved in a new project with Sephora: a makeup line! And why not? He’s tried and KILLED at damn near everything else he’s gotten his pretty little hands on.

Including looking better than me in makeup, god DAMN it!

What kind of things do you think he’ll design? Daisy colored nail polishes? Tubes of mascara wearing little kilts? Heavily tattooed eyeshadow palettes? I HOPE SO!!!

Read more about Marc Jacobs for Sephora collection here:

Hamburger Makeup

Umm, tasty?

I love International ad campaigns. They’re edgier, crazier, and I think they usually get their point across more effectively. Here’s the new ad from Burger King (Netherlands), created to encourage those crazy Dutch crowds to buy more burgers!

I don’t think I’ll be hamburgularing this look anytime soon, but it is quite a cool concept. And if they really want to sell more burgers, why don’t they just open a Burger King Kush Kafe right next door? Just wondering.

Shake. Stir. Seduce.

So…Estee Lauder is introducing a “Mad Men” inspired “collection” to coincide with the hit series’ return to television on March 25th.

I know, right, Don?! That’s what I was thinking too. To be honest, the first thing that came to mind was the fact that the only people who use Estee Lauder anymore were probably growing up during the 60s. I’m sorry for thinking that, but come on!

Also, the “collection”  is comprised of a cherry red lipstick and a reddish-dark pink blush. I feel like the guy in that Coke Zero commercial where he’s always like, “…And???” No heavy eyeliners for the 60s sex-kitten stare? No hairspray line for those fab bouffants? No false eyelash line? What the what?

Pretty, but worth $40 and $25 (respectively)? I don’t think so. We’re in a recession, dammit. Decent, hardworking millionaires can’t even afford vacation houses anymore, that’s what kind of messed up world we live in. But Estee Lauder don’t care because this special collection is only available at Bloomingdales and online at—hello? Anyone still there?

Blog at WordPress.com.

%d bloggers like this: