The 59 %

It seems like every study that’s released nowdays is totally DUH.

Women More Likely To Use Women’s Restrooms –Unless It Is a Crowded Bar & Everyone Is Taking Too Long To Pee

Just like I said. Duh. But I saw this article on Yahoo! about nail polish being the biggest beauty trend of 2011. It states:

According to Women’s Wear Daily, nail polish sales were up 59% for the first 10 months of the year […] In fact, both colored lacquer and top/base coat sales were up 50%, which implies ladies are giving themselves complete at-home manicures. 

Nail polish isn’t really one of those things you think to track the progress of but it totally makes sense. Here’s some cliff notes from the article about why nail polish sales have skyrocketed this year.

1. Variety – You can find any color of nail polish these days, whether it be Kermit green or Lady Gaga’s weave yellow. For me, nail polish is my mood ring. If it’s bright and cheery, you’re okay to come talk to me. If I’ve painted them black then it’s reflecting the color of my soul. Or it’s Winter. Either way, stay away.

2. Nail Innovations – I’ve found all kinds of crazy shit to put on my nails. From real dried flowers to seashells to nail skins, I’ve tried em all. You can even Shellac yourself. Cray cray x 100!

3. Celebrity Collaborations – This property basically states that if OPI spits it out, you will buy it. I think Katy Perry’s collection sold out 3 and a half years before it even came out. I think they’ll base a nail color line off any major event. Keep your eyes peeled for next year’s “Presidential Candidate” collection featuring such colors as “Bachmann’s Rainbow of Equality” or “Herman Cain’s Blue Migraine.” Fun!!!

4. New Creations – No longer are plain ole French manicures the bee’s knees. Now girls have figured out how to do reverse cowgirl manicures, Brazilian manicures, Chinese manicures, any damn thing! Sure, they’re all made up but by the time this year’s over, they’ll be trendy and I’ll be rolling in my copyright dough.

5. Less Conservative – Which leads to wackier nail-dos. It’s not strange to see a girl rockin’ neon orange nails…in the dead of winter. It ain’t weird to see a girl with 20 foot long nails!

No, still really weird.

I am all about the DIY manicure. I get anxiety every time I go to the nail salon. Not because of the bacteria in the foot bath or the amount of accumulated farts in the massage chairs, but because I suck at math. Here’s the dialogue in my head:

Okay, so the mani + pedi is $25. Cool. That means I should tip about $5. So $30 total. Oh GOD she just asked if I want a paraffin wax and I totally do!!! Extra $5. So now what’s the tip? I don’t know! And I totally want nail design and cryto-gel! Now I’m up to like $40. And she just said I’m really pretty so I legally have to tip a little more. Which is just fine but shouldn’t I be spending this money at the mall?!?!?!

It’s so stressful. That’s why I’ve made it my business to curl up on the couch every Sunday night with a bottle glass of wine and paint my nails. After all, aren’t we in a recession?

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