Anyone Have A Chainsaw?

Because this bitch needs her damn nails cut!

Scratch my back, I'll scratch yours--OHGODTHATISSODISGUSTING

This lovely lady is singer Chris Walton, better known by her stage name “The Duchess.” The Duchess of NailsTooLongShire, I presume? For some reason, she’s proud of not cutting her nails in 18 years, and they’ve somehow grown to be 20 feet long, earning her a place in 2012’s Guinness Book of World Records. Which is odd because my nails start chipping and cracking and peeling after a week or two. The Duchess claims that her nails get in the way of NOTHING. She can play the piano, use the computer, and even brush her hair. But honey, how do you…nevermind. I don’t care.

Oh thank goodness she can still putt.

I think the Guinness Book of World Records makes people go a little too craycray. Instead of trying to have the “most,” “heaviest,” or “longest” of something, why don’t people try to have the “biggest” hearts? If they spent half as much time on their ridiculous hobbies as they did bettering themselves or the world around them, then we might not EVER have to see this:

#irritating

*Note: I am showing her picture here, but I refuse to state her name because she is NOT getting any more attention from moi!

Aaaaaaaaaand </endrant>

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